This one really confounded ole Lonnie here. First of all, the thing is in Spanish. Spanish! The most non-english studying I've ever done is trying to figure out the assembly instructions on that Pinata I bought my twin girls for their 3rd birthday party. (they were both 5 at the time, we skipped a couple to save up and make it extra special for 'em) That little cardboard donkey gave me a fit, let me tell you. By the time I got the candy and cigarettes inside it, it was almost dark and the girls were plumb give out. They didn't give a turkey if they got to play with it or not . . . Me and Crystal had a good time with it after we put the girls to bed, though. (only took one broomstick whack to the nutts)

Back to the book. I just don't get it. LCD? Plasma? I only messed around with LCD one time, over at the weldin' college. Wayne brought in a bunch of funny lookin' jiblets of paper with what looked like a rainbow-colored unicorn on 'em and passed 'em out to the boys. Let me tell you, next thing I knowed, I had the air compressor nozzle down the front of my coveralls and was seeing all kinds of shameful stuff. I looked over at Wayne and he had what looked like the head of a young Waylon Jennings and the body of a real young Donna Summer! I woke up the next morning in Wayne's bed with She Works Hard for the Money blasting on his stereo! It didn't help things much when I crawled home after being out all night and Wanda noticed two of Wayne's partials embedded in my back. (I need to get those back to him, I really do)

As far as Plasma goes, I don't know why anyone would want a book on that. Really, who wants to sit around and look at pictures of afterbirth.